When I went through my “life change” a few years ago, I discovered this concept of using haters to fuel you to move forward. I was in a place where I was trying to establish myself in a positive light, re-establish (or just plain establish) goals, and set myself on a good course for happiness. And, I started running.
As I read more running social media, there were all sorts of affirmations. Mental strength tips, reasons to keep going when the tank was low, etc. One of them was the sentiment of “proving wrong those that said you couldn’t”. This one never really resonated with me. And honestly, that it didn’t, made me feel a bit like a privileged brat.
I didn’t have people in my life telling me that I “couldn’t” run a half marathon, or reach any of my other goals. No one was telling me I was stupid, or insufficient, or wouldn’t ever make it. I was surrounded by positive people, and that’s a good thing. Now, that’s not to say that I never had negative people ever in my life. I’ve had the occasional ex, or “friend,” who was a hater – tried to pull out the negatives of my character and ideas and focus on only them. But I ditched those jerks. Because that’s what you do.
So, as goals developed, and motivation occasionally waned, I would again seek out positivity and affirmations from my usual suspects. Again and again, I would come across this “proving the haters wrong” sentiment. Apparently, this is a common problem. So I decided to give it some real thought. Who was a hater in my life? Who dare not support me lofty goals, muhaha…
And then it dawned on me – my biggest hater was … me.
I’m the one! And holy cow, am I ruthless! I’m the one telling myself I can’t do it, that I am not good enough, that “it’ll never work out so why bother even trying.” UGH! Prove myself wrong? Well that seems like an uncomfortable proposition (wink).
But, it’s what needs to be done. I’ve before confronted the idea of being afraid, or needing to get out of my own way. But to view my own negativity as that of an external hater? That’s a twist. Conquering this might be more difficult than I imagined. I can’t just “ditch” myself, the way I have other negative folks. This is going to take some strategic planning, some serious change. It’s a daily struggle to keep your eye on the prize(s). But, in the end, totally worth it – even if it’s yourself you’re trying to prove wrong.
Go get yours!