Summer in the Garden

16 Thursday May 2013

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This summer in the garden I’m going to return to my original blogging roots – running.

On my previous blog, which was actually about running, I sort of petered out with the writing right as I was training for my first marathon – you know, the good stuff! I feel badly about this. I don’t have a good recounting of my training and all that I went through physically and mentally during the whole process. So, as I spend the summer training for my second marathon – and a MAJOR! – I will be keeping up with it here in the garden. Chicago’s the real deal folks!

So, beginning in June, there will at least one post a week on running/training. And maybe even some guest posts from very inspirational running friends!

Today was my first formal “race” since my last marathon: a 3.5 mile workforce challenge. It’s an after work jaunt through downtown Albany, with 1000s of your coworkers. It’s a fun time, and I showed my solidarity with my new coworkers by showing up to run with a bunch of people who may or (mostly) may not have met me before and then promptly leaving before seeing how anyone else did – I’m awkward, don’t judge.

Anyway… I hate afternoon running. I really enjoy running on a nearly empty stomach and fresh legs that hadn’t already gone to the gym that day (I’m awkward AND badass). I am also horribly far from marathon shape. That “little jaunt” was rough man. I mean, I’ve had worse races, but ugh. Anyway, it finishes on a huge down hill, so I ended “strong.”

And so it begins! I’ll start upping my base weekly mileage over the next month or so, then formal training begins.

Chicago Marathon – Here We Come!

Self

09 Thursday May 2013

Posted by in growing, Life

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Why is it that nearly universally, the easiest person on the planet to ignore is yourself? I mean seriously, we’ve all done it – a bunch of times. Come on, don’t deny it. Don’t leave me out here all alone thinking I’m the only one that doesn’t pay enough attention to myself?

There’s a fine line, amongst most decent people, between taking care of self, and selfish. Actually, no. We perceive there to be a fine line between selfish and taking care of yourself. It’s not that fine, actually. It’s a very reasonable line, and it varies in width from person to person. But I think many of us find ourselves overly-willing to help others out at the expense of our own well-being on a regular basis. But alas, that’s not really what this post is about.

This post is about getting wrapped up in all else. Not being overly-willing. Not even about “saying yes to someone else while saying no to yourself.” It’s simply about the part of us that ignores our self, when our body/mind/emotions are screaming at you, in a variety of ways, to give them a little attention and maintenance. And yet, we ignore. Plowing through life, moving forward, ignoring the warning signs.

This might seem odd, to some that know me. I regularly work out and run to give myself some “alone time” some “Jen time.” Yet, despite this hour or so a day, I still feel distracted and out of touch – with myself. I feel there’s so much else going on, so many life stressors, I’ve simply forgotten that sometimes I need more than a run (yes, yes I’m a selfish bitch!). Sometimes I need a good cry for no reason – alone. I don’t need any consoling, just some cleansing. I need a good night’s sleep – where I’m not awoken by dreams of my new grad student applicants painting our house (really?). I need no plans, relaxation, quality time – to enjoy that sunset I was talking about before.

I just need to give myself just the teensiest bit of attention – just enough to relax, a nice deep-seeded relax. Not where I’m running and thinking about today’s meetings, or how poochy my stomach pooch has gotten. Not sleep for function, not playing the piano to forget. I need a legitimate moment where I stare myself in the mirror, acknowledge how stressed/frazzled I am, and then just let it be. Ok, not a moment. A whole weekend. In fact, an entire week of this would be fantasmic! But, unlikely. I settle for a day or two – saturday, sunday?

Selfish? No quite the opposite.

Just A Moment

07 Tuesday May 2013

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As I walked through the kitchen, busy with tidying up, thoughts of the day, whispers (roars?) of tomorrow, it caught my eye. Just a glimpse at first, but I stopped back again to look more closely. The sun burned red, purple, orange and pink through the clouds – just over the tree line.

The sun still sets, peacefully each day. On some days with spectacular beauty.

I don’t recall the last time I saw the sun setting. I certainly don’t recall the last time I took a minute to watch it, enjoy it, feel it. It’s far too easy to become embroiled in the drudgery of life. The waking, and the working, and the cleaning, and the sleeping. And the doing it all over and over.

But to take a moment, just a moment and enjoy the simple beauty – so precious. Each day the sun sets, bold and beautiful. Each day the sun rises, crisp and clean. While the majority of the day is spent doing the things we must, while we far too easily slip into the folds of life’s stressors, the beauty of life’s most simple things go on around us.

It takes just a split second for you to notice the sun has set the sky afire. Don’t miss that second. Don’t waste it.

Looking for Alaska by John Green

25 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by in Book Reviews, reading

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Some time ago I was visiting my parents when I noticed this book on my sister’s dresser. She was away at school at the time, and I had just finished The Fault in Our Stars, so I text her and told her I’d be borrowing this book. Not a bad choice.

I gave this book 3 stars on goodreads.com. I liked it, it was most definitely a YA novel, but it wasn’t as good as The Fault in Our Stars. That does make sense, Looking for Alaska was published seven years prior, and we would hope that Green would evolve as an author over time (congrats!).

The plot was interesting, and Green is just fantastic at creating quirky teenage characters. I just found some of the emotion and climactic moments of this book lacking luster compared to his other work. Not that it was bad, just not as stellar. He does go for the traumatic life events, once again. The type of stuff that shakes people – especially teens. Always dramatic, and certainly makes for interesting story lines.

Still I enjoyed this as what would be a quick read. I realize my Goodreads history indicates otherwise, but I was in the middle of moving – cut me some slack.

With all that, I do enjoy Green’s writing a good deal. He is true to his genre, and I don’t feel like his teen characters are a teenage portrayal through the eyes of an adult – which can sometimes happen, and is disappointing to r older readers.

This might not be the book at the very top of my recommendations list, but I’d still throw it out there for anyone hitting the beach this summer and looking for a good read.

For the Love of Boston

15 Monday Apr 2013

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It’s been three years since I started running regularly. Why did I start running? What has running done for me, to me?

I ran for quiet, for health, for focus, for something to do. The reasons I began running were fairly superficial. But the reasons I kept running were far more significant: for peace, for positivity, for community. I am a better person when I run. My life is more positive, it’s on a more productive track. I’ve made new friends running – I met my fiancee running. Running has only changed my life for the better. Everyone I know who has started running would say the same. Running has led to positive, welcome changes in their lives: a sense of empowerment, a willingness to face challenges, vulnerabilities are cast aside. You are never stronger than at the end of a run.

And that’s why today’s events are so incredibly upsetting. Running doesn’t hurt anybody. It’s a no contact sport; the ultimate individual sport with a monumental community effort. Are other sports as communal as running? Do football or baseball players who are strangers to one another wave to each other when they pass on the field during practice? I don’t know, but I’m guessing not. Running is a club anyone can join, at any time, at any age, at any state of health. Ultimately inclusive. All are welcome.

What happened today at the Boston Marathon is not just cowardly, vicious, and reprehensible. It’s quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. I can not believe that whomever is responsible for this – individual or group, whoever those people are – doesn’t know a single runner; a single person who hits a trail at dusk or dawn to clear their head. Today’s acts weren’t an attack on America, or capitalism or whatever it is that people hate. It was an attack on the world. It was an attack on humanity as a whole. Humans were designed to run – our bodies are made for it. Running doesn’t care what your political views are, what your gender is, what color your skin is, what religion you practice, what you’ve been labeled. Running is for everyone.

When I ran my first half marathon in Lake Placid, NY, I was positively giddy at the sight of someone wearing a Boston jacket or singlet. It was awesome, awe-inspiring, inspirational. That person ran the creme de la creme of marathons – the ultimate effort. I think it’s more impressive for a “joe average” runner to run Boston, than anyone running the Olympic marathon. Now the blue and gold will take on a slightly different stroke of emotion. The inspiration will still be there – but coupled with a bit of sadness for what was lost today – the lives, the safety, the peacefulness of a hard running effort.

But that blue and gold will still stand for what it always stood for – resolve, strength, and the ability to overcome. Lace up your shoes tomorrow, friends, and put in a few miles of peace and reflection for today’s Bostoners – the runners, the spectators, and the dreamers.

Paralyzed

12 Friday Apr 2013

Posted by in Confessions, Life

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I’d like to bring the conversation back around to doubt. I’ve discussed it on here before, but this is a persisting issue – one many of us don’t discuss – and it’s been on my mind a lot lately, so here it is.

I have found myself, on occasion, literally paralyzed by doubt. When one steps back from a situation and looks at it, it does seem rather ridiculous. But, it’s real, and it happens to all of us. We put off doing what we want to do – something we really want, and may even truly enjoy – because we doubt our ability to be successful.

This has happened to me many a time – running, writing, planning parties, cooking new dishes, hanging shelves. Honestly, things big and small just get put off because of a fear of not being able to do something correctly, or well enough. The voice in your head telling you that you “can’t” or “shouldn’t bother”  it’s just not true.

Overcoming this can be most difficult. It can be so much easier to shut out external negativity – other people telling you that you can’t do something? Screw them, you say, as you set out to prove them wrong. But when it’s your own self telling you that something can’t be done, why do we fall victim to that, repeatedly?

I read two articles today on doubt and that little voice in our heads. Both are worth the read, so I’ll share them with you:

This article from the Huffington Post, and this from Writer UnBoxed.

The second deals mostly with writers/writing/challenges of getting published, but the overall themes are applicable to all.

One aspect of the doubt cycle that I have to agree with is that as a society, we do not place much value on discussing the tough times. We are success based culture – interested in the ascent – not the bumps along the way. But, when you’re trying to conquer some new feat, there are bumps along the way - for everyone, and hearing about them makes the whole experience more relate-able. It actually helps us to keep the main goal in mind, and remember that a bump in the road is that – a bump. Some are bigger than others, but alas, this too shall pass.

What are you doubting right now? What’s got you stuck in the muck and unable to move forward? Sometimes putting it out there, as the impetus you need to take the next scary step forward.

The Simple Things

31 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by in Friendship, Life, Running

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We all know that life ebbs and flows. It has its ups and downs, stressful times and its easy-breezy times. When you find your life filling up with busy-work, stressful things, and you’re just feeling overwhelmed – how do you cope?

I often need a reality check. An intervention from a friend or two. Sometimes big, or sometimes just a simple “hello!!!! I haven’t talked to you in a week, what gives?” This is usually the jolt or the reminder I need about what is really important in life – the simple things.

When a big, stressful event finds itself in your path it can be all-consuming. It takes up all your time, your thoughts, sometimes steals your sleep. And if you have more than one of these events occurring at the same time? Forget about it! You’re apt to drive yourself nuts.

This is when it’s most important to remember the little things. The things you enjoy – a morning run, a chat with a friend, a kitten snuggled on your belly, holding the hand of a loved one, a moment to reflect quietly.

Even in the most stressful times,  joy in life is found in its simplicity. Don’t lose sight of your goals, and don’t overlook the simple pleasures right in front of you.

Live life happy.

Falling Right Back In

18 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by in Running, Uncategorized

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In a good way!

I must honestly say, I am pleasantly surprised how very easy it was it slip back in to running once I had a set training plan. Workouts are scheduled, workouts are completed. Workouts are hard. Fantastic.

It’s crazy how liberating a schedule can be. A bit counter-intuitive, I know. Knowing what you have to run, knowing what the goal is, and what it looks like. So comforting.

I won’t lie, after several months wishy washy working out, it was HARD to get back in the groove. Physically, oh yes. But mentally, even worse. I forgot what it’s like to run for over an hour when you REALLY just feel like not. It’s good to be reminded that the work pays off – it’s good to relive those great finishes, those great runs. Tap in to your inner success. It’s there. Whether you’re just starting, or restarting – remember: Distance before speed.

Stay persistent! Dreams will become reality!

 

Keep running!

#firstworldproblems

09 Saturday Mar 2013

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I am moving. Again.

Seriously, moving is the dumps. No matter how hard you try, everything still feels disorganized, and your life feels like general melee.

Yes, I’m whining. There are way worse things. This is a privileged person’s problem – though, not that privileged, or we’d have movers.

The most exciting part of this move, for me, is an exciting little nook that is going to be created in the new place, just for me. For my piano and for my writing.

There’s about to be a whole lot of blooming in this garden, folks!

…

As soon as the drudgery of moving is over.

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